texts from washington
(304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant “Ride! Jon! Home!” to get a girl in bed.
texts from washington
(610): There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say “Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division”
texts from washington
(358): I don’t think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
texts from washington
(515): It’s blow job season.
texts from washington
(270): him being a republican bothered me way more than his coke problem.
texts from washington
(614): We just shotgunned beers for America
texts from washington
(336): christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
texts from washington
(615): Girl, that was the last night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
texts from washington
(616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
texts from washington
(832): Texas State Troopers call you ma’am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you’ve puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
